It’s a contrast, isn’t it? The ones who think that one should not behave in a way which is against mutual consensus – which is a relative thing – are to me, amazing creatures Humans, in a way, are my subject of investigation in this regard.
As Meursault [anti-hero (or protagonist) in Albert Camus’ The Stranger] is rebuked because he was expected to naturally weep or show extreme emotions when his mother died, but he didn’t. In a similar fashion, I was expected to be elated and dance in joy when Section 377 was read down again by the apex court of India. It was not that I didn’t want it to happen. Or it was something not so worthy of celebration. It certainly was. I call it, ‘the beginning of our freedom struggle’. There are many more feathers which our colourful community’s hat has to don.
My take was, and it is extremely personal but personal is political as well, I didn’t enjoy because I was torn in an internal conflict. I was expected to behave with two different set of audiences, the way they wanted.
Before my friends, I should have been more excited and ‘comfortable’. I should have behaved more gay-ish than they have seen me. Or for them, it was something which I can do now ‘boldly’. I have been this gay and it will not get any gay-er except that this expression will not be condemned before an institution of law and order.
To my family, it was shocking. They couldn’t make anything out of it. A few are on my side and some are against. Those who are against, matter a lot. And, hence the conflict.
In this situation, I really don’t know what to celebrate for.
Law has accepted but will Indian mindset or society ever? I don’t know. But now I daily question myself, “Who is this society anyway?”